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  • Jack Turner

AFL Round Thirteen

Port Adelaide vs Western Bulldogs

After their last effort at Adelaide Oval, to the Bulldogs this must have felt like getting mugged by someone, and then returning to the same place a month later just to get mugged again by their younger, more attractive sibling. After scoring just two goals the last time they were here, it looked bleak, with the Bulldogs scoring a solitary point in the first quarter, but instead of being absolutely demolished, the Bulldogs just got belted instead, managing their second best losing score for the year, but still going down by a considerable 57 points, and suffering injuries to Tom "Vaudeville," Boyd, Lukas Webb, Jack Macrae and Easton Wood. Port Adelaide continued their return to form, notching four from the last five, starting with their sensational Showdown win. There was an extra umpire on the ground in a new trial, and it resulted in a whopping free kick tally of 49 for the match. We've now had two games in a row of high scoring footy, so the AFL might as well scrap all of those rule change ideas.

Sydney Swans vs West Coast Eagles This was anticipated by many as game of the round. Second versus third. The only team to beat the Eagles so far this year, now facing them at their own home ground. Unfortunately the second quarter was really the only one that mattered, as a five goal to one term gave Sydney all the lead they needed - and the one they finished the game with. Other than the umpires being determined to give Buddy a goal at any point, there wasn't too much excitement to this game. Sydney even forgot to kick any goals in the first and last quarters and still got over the line. It did show, however that West Coast miss Darling quite a lot, and that if you don't like Brian Taylor yelling 'LLLOOOOOOYD," this certainly was one for the mute button, as he racked up 28 touches. We have all been reminded though, that Sydney are very good, and in any given year are just a hop skip and a jump away from a premiership

Carlton vs Fremantle

Boy-oh-boy. Carlton vs Fremantle. Two of the worst attacks in the competition. Sign me up for the most boring Saturday of football you'll ever see. Carlton managed to win the second half of this game by 13 points - which would have been a mighty good effort, had they not managed to lose the first half by 70, not managing a single goal to half time. Even their own fans booed them, which was actually quite impressive, because from where I was sitting it didn't look like anyone actually turned up to this game. Fremantle did enough, with Fyfe being brilliant yet again, while on the other hand, Patrick Cripps, who came through the East Fremantle breeding program, must have been realising that if he'd been picked up by a team in his own state, he could have been on the good end of this game. Fortunately for Carlton, not many people would have watched this one.

Gold Coast Suns vs St Kilda

You might think I'm lying to you, but I actually put myself through the misery of watching this game. That's how little I have to do on a Saturday, combined with how much I hate myself. On form, these the two worst teams in the competition; one that can't play a first half to save their lives, and another that forgets how to run, mark, or kick goals in the last quarter - possibly under the Stuart Dew fitness plan. Much like the FIFA world cup, I was anticipating the possibility of a nil-all draw, This game was mostly forgettable, especially the second and third quarters, where St Kilda were by far the better team, but forgot how to kick goals, managing only six to three quarter time, at one point the lead stretching out to 39 points for the home side. That was it for the day though, with St Kilda kicking six goals three to keep Alan Richardson in a job, ending in a pretty spectacular goal from Jade Gresham. I actually got very excited at the end of this game, but that was mostly because I tipped the Saints, and had had a few beers to block out the three quarters that came before.

Hawthorn vs Adelaide Crows

There was a lot of sport on all at once here, but being the footy tragic I am, I chose to watch probably the most boring one of the four games I could have watched. Australia managed to lose all of the Soccer, Rugby and Cricket in one afternoon, and the Hawks had a convincing win - which I'm pretty sure is a loss for Australia also. This game was in no way interesting, as the Hawks plucked feathers out of the crows one by one, to keep them to their lowest score in ten years, and lowest ever against the Hawks. It wasn't fun to watch. Shaun Burgoyne though, got a much deserved win in his 350th game, and slid into fourth on the all time wins list, and was still playing to the same quality he always has. He's 35 and better than most footballers have ever been, meanwhile I'm past my prime at 24. Really makes you think. Someone told me Tex Walker was named for this game and the one before it, but I'm pretty sure I haven't seen him. Maybe all of his talent was stored in his moustache.

Geelong Cats vs Richmond The game we were all waiting for. The AFL did a good job of fixturing this game all on it's own on a Sunday afternoon, and despite the horrid weather almost 50 000 people turned up to this Geelong home game at Richmond's home ground, where the two teams play twice this year - I'm not salty, you're salty. Somehow though, this game still didn't make it to Free to Air TV. The centre bounce to start the game featured 5 brownlow medals, 7 premierships and 22 All Australian selections between just five men. Despite all of that class, this was more a bruising encounter than a free flowing one, with both teams showing the kind of pressure that had them in the top four both last year, and leading into this game, but by the end of the game, the experience and hardness of Richmond took over with the class of Alex (F)Rance and Dustin Martin fresh back from his custody weekend with his dad. All in all I did a very good job of not crying as the last quarter unfolded and I watched Geelong tumble out of the top four. Richmond are now just one game short of the longest winning streak ever at the MCG. Which is as terrifying as it is impressive, especially when accompanied by the fact that Richmond are on top of the ladder, even though this time last year they were sixth

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